Indian Family Values

I'll admit - I didn't have the patience to sit through much of Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... It's the largest-grossing Indian movie of all time - but to my Western eyes it still reckons like a cheesy Bollywood melodrama. The characters are prone to sudden musical numbers and dancing, and this, to me, can be a quite bracing experience in any cultural milieu.

But from the portion of the film that I was able to watch (and from talking to my wife, who was transfixed by the whole thing) - it's impossible to miss the hammering, powerful emphasis on family. Not the thrown-together, band-of-misfits family that is featured in American cinema (Lilo and Stitch, Ice Age 2) - but old fashioned Mom and Dad family. The type of family where two kids get married, the kids happen to be male and female, and they both eventually come to accept the importance of a positive, loving relationship with Mom and Dad (both male and female, incidentally). The primary religious traditions of India may not technically include the Judeo-Christian bible, but they take seriously the fourth commandment.

Any classical story structure involves tension, conflict, and resolution in relationships. Usually these are romantic forms, or ones that involve filial bonds - or often both. The vast majority of Shakespeare (Hamlet, Tempest, Romeo and Juliet, the historical plays) portrays squabbling between Mom and/or Dad and the kids. But having a look through the top-grossers of American cinema (Star Wars, ET, Titanic) we see parent-child relationships that are filled with cruelty, helplessness, and disaffection. TV shows like 'The Nanny' and Dr. Phil are a window into various permutations of mewling incompetence that passes for parenting. Both the cultural ideal and the practical reality of American families are problematic.

As we contemplate the global economy we hear the familiar refrains of why competition from the subcontinent is "unfair". They work harder for less money, they place a ruthless emphasis on education - they can go without the consumer comforts to which Americans are accustomed. But there is another factor – an advantage which used to be more prominent in Western societies: Indian people have a keen and deeply rooted appreciation of how close, traditional families make individuals and the culture itself so much stronger.