My Gary Bauer Story

Given all of the events of the past few years, few people may recall the race for the Republican presidential nomination in the lead-up to the 2000 election. But semi-lucid observers of the political process may remember Christian-values candidate Gary Bauer. He earned only a few headlines. Once he toppled backwards from a stage during a pancake-flipping contest. And in the final days of his campaign rumors surfaced of an ongoing game of hide-the-pickle being conducted with a saucy 27 year old assistant. These allegations help prompt an abrupt end his campaign.

I have my own memories of this crusading Christian. True story:

My plane had landed one day at Ronald Reagan National Airport in Washington DC. This was early 2002 - not long after this airport had reopened to commercial aviation traffic. During the tense flight I had managed to fall asleep, so after collecting my belongings I recall winding my way up the jetway ramp with that vaguely startled and confused feeling caused by waking up suddenly from a daytime nap. As the door opened out to the crowded terminal I saw him with his arms outstretched, a look of joy in his tearful face.

Gary Bauer was standing right in front of me.

And Gary Bauer wanted to give me a big hug.

The other disembarking passengers began to pile up behind me. I froze in place, terrified. It seemed unnatural and wrong to return his unwarranted embrace - but the man looked overcome by emotion. After a few embarrassing seconds a very old woman pushed her way past me and tottered towards Gary, into his arms. It took a few moments to properly cogitate the situation, but I guess it must have been his mother. (Reading his Wikipedia biography I can see he is originally from Covington, Kentucky -- so this would explain her presence on a flight from Cincinnati.)

No moral to the story – just a surreal and awkward incident.