Food Court Philosophy 101

May I help who's next?

This beautiful little phrase contains everything you need to know about our service economy. It's properly delivered with eyes rolled heavenward on a face that conveys boredom and disgust. It's extremely important for the fast food restaurant worker to avoid eye contact with the people standing before the counter - since this might send an improper signal about the person they think might be, in fact, next. And thus would be sewn the seeds of disagreement.

May I help who's next?

You see, the worker is impartial to who is actually next. He or she would prefer to avoid any dispute that might be caused by queues that are mis-aligned, or customers who are loitering nearby, waiting for their orders to be fulfilled. So everyone struggles to remember who was standing where at the moment they approached the Chik-Fil-A counter. And it creates a window of opportunity for the brazen, who can respond in the affirmative, duplicitously transcending their place in line.

May I help who's next?

The beauty of this question lies in it's ability to meet the demands of customer service while at the same time scattering responsibility to the wind. It's grammatically imperfect, yet there's an economy of language that is elegant, even impressive. It speaks to our identity in a production-based economy, as we roll forward without much regard to who is getting served. And there's something menacing here too - as if this phrase could be scrawled on the walls of a crime scene, or painted on the fuselage of a bomber to send a clear message to any potential international antagonists.