Pater Familias Interlude

My better half is leaving for a trip to California for three days tomorrow. It's a long-overdue visit with two of her sisters who live in L.A. and work, in various capacities, in "the business". There will be a great deal of bonding, meaningful conversations, feelings shared, and ad-hoc analysis of the quirky little foibles of spouses, siblings, and other family members. More words will be exchanged between the three sisters, probably, than I have spoken in the past few years.

My lovely wife deserves a little time away. The poor creature has to deal with my stoic self, most of the time. The last feeling I had to share, for example, might have been back in 2002, if I recall correctly. It lasted a few minutes, seemed somewhat unnecessary, and may have been the result of the Thai lunch special I consumed earlier that day.

During her trip I will be completely in charge of taking care of the seven month old. And I'm a professional daddy, I know the ropes - and can handle feedings, changing of drawers, and so forth. This is not the first child, and as babies go she's not very difficult. When she cries it's usually because there is something obviously wrong, or she's figured out what's happening, and doesn't like it.

For example lately, when you walk into her bedroom in the evening, and the blinds are closed and the light is off, she usually looks around lets loose with one of those "Aaaa!" type cries that is really more of a yell of protest, because she's wise to the situation. She has the same reaction when she reads about congressional appropriations bills.


Division of labor, when it comes to child care, is a tricky issue in many homes. The burden traditionally rests on the mother, even when both parents work. Many Dads are content with this arrangement - one that almost certainly was modeled by their father before them - and they either avoid chores related to child-rearing, or feign incompetence. Put the infant's "onesie" on backwards and upside down enough times (Hon, is this outfit supposed to dangerously constrict her sternum?) and the lady of the house will very likely take over that job full time, thank you very much.

Moms handle these things regularly, and don't make a big, bragging fuss. And the truth is, I think we take on a fairly balanced share of work when it comes to the kids.

Still, it doesn't matter if you are Mom or Dad, three days without a spouse, somebody to "spell" you for a few moments after a long day in the front lines with the short ones, that can be a minor challenge. Let's hope the good woman has a great trip to Cali and the inevitable separation anxiety is mitigated by a rip-roaring, sisterly good time. And I'll dutifully hold the phone up to the cute little dickens so she can look vaguely alarmed when she hears Mommy's cooing voice before trying to eat the receiver.

So Monday, if you find me wandering down the street muttering quietly to myself and smelling faintly of scotch and baby formula, it's because the wife's plane has landed, the baby is safely tucked away, and Daddy finally had a little break time.