C'est Moi (Person of the Year)

Time Magazine named me person of the year.

Apparently I am so articulate and influential that even one of America's most prominent old media publications is forced to admit it. Okay, let's dispense with the false modesty: I am awfully impressive. The media I create as the "user" in this networked society of distributed information –it may seem repetitive, smart-alecky, trivial, or even self-referential. But according to Time, I’m the number one guy.

Don’t be intimidated. I mean, if we run into each other at a party I don’t want you to be weird, like I’m some sellout who was once cool and quirky and authentic before I became popular. We can still be buds, okay? Now that I’m person of the year I’ll be busy with product endorsements and speaking engagements, but I’ll try to remember your name and say 'hi' before my entourage moves me away.

But let’s be truthful - honesty is one of my many wonderful qualities – you and I won’t be at the same parties anymore. We're not quite in the same league. I’ll be in the front of the plane, of course - unless I’m on the Gulfstream - or in the Town Car with the shaded glass at the back entrance. I’ll try to pause for a moment or send a message through one of my many underlings, but I'm busy. Still, I’ll probably use you as an example of how I stay in touch with “real people” when I am trying to impress all of my other beautiful celebrity friends – even though we haven’t spoken in years.

I’d like to thank Time Magazine for this award and congratulate them on the wisdom of their selection. They couldn’t have made a better choice. Truly, it’s an honor.

Tags: Time Magazine, Person of the Year