Arteriovenous Malformation Blues

Lo, fragile humanity. It would be a surprising reversal of fortune if the U.S. Senate goes back to evil Republican control because of a brain hemorrhage. Still, in the Washington Post, the well-wishers have responded:

In a one-sentence statement, Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman said, "All of our thoughts and prayers are with the Johnson family and people of South Dakota as we pray for a full and complete recovery for Senator Johnson."

Sure, Ken. Sure. Look everyone, a chinchilla just came dancing out of Ken Mehlman’s ass wearing a silly hat and singing patriotic songs. Ha, funny chinchilla.

The article continues. With regard to the victim:

The two-term senator was rushed to the hospital early yesterday afternoon, shortly after becoming disoriented during a conference call with news reporters. He underwent "a comprehensive evaluation by the stroke team," his office said, and eventually was diagnosed with the brain hemorrhage, the severity of which has not yet been announced to the public.

This could mean that the aforementioned stroke team is still comparing notes and collating data, while the patient watches TV and recovers in his hospital room. Or, conversely, it could mean that the distinguished Senator from South Dakota has gone the way of Ariel Sharon and a squadron of DNC-funded attorneys is now gathering strength to somehow litigate their way around the process in the event the Republican governor does what he would otherwise naturally do – and has the authority to do – which is to appoint whoever he pleases to the post – presumably a Republican.

Regardless of how it turns out, the Senate is still the most useless part of our government. Preening vanity, blowhard speeches, and parliamentary incompetence are central to the institution, and always will be, regardless of who runs the shop. It would be entertaining to watch the political fire drill that would ensue in the event this Senator is incapacitated, but (despite what craven politicos may really hope) we must listen to our better angels, and pray for a different outcome – we really wouldn’t wish this tragedy on anyone.

Tags: Senator Tim Johnson, Ken Mehlman