Hardcore Upgrade Exploits

Be advised: Geek content.

On Saturday I rebuilt my main PC with a new motherboard and 64-bit processor purchased from Newegg. As she saw the devastation unfold my wife wisely decided to vacate the premises and run some errands - but not before delivering a few sarcastic jabs about my impending electrocution. I try this about once each year. And thanks to the large, idiot-proof diagrams I am mostly successful. This time I survived with nary a scraped knuckle.

The challenge is in the dangerous tedium involved in patching Windows XP. The time is spent endlessly rebooting and waiting for "thermometer" icons to fill up to 100% . For about an hour the ass-naked operating system is completely exposed to the Internet while you hurry to cover it with security updates from the Microsoft website. Bizarre pop-up messages flickered on the screen from the hackers who had already found their prey. A vulnerable PC is like a naive and attractive Midwesterner disembarking at Grand Central in New York with a pocket full of cash. The situation can go south very quickly, and before it's over it may involve a nasty infection.

Next time I might pay Dell and be done with it. Soon enough my free time will be occupied with the exigencies of homeownership and entirely new ways to injure myself.