Spatial Education

Boy monkeys have better spatial perception then lady monkeys, at least until they get older. It's in a recent study. In other news, drunken foolishness is widespread among the people in charge of handing out research money.

They could have easily observed my future spouse and I as we moved into our home together this week. My Y chromosome apparently endows me with a magical ability to size up several pieces of furniture or boxes and accurately determine what will fit into a living room or storage space. When confronted with the same task my future spouse becomes faint and confused. She has other skills that exceed mine, but not in this area. And I've observed this is common.

Some traits come out of the box. Soon after they emerge from the womb many boys start banging trucks together and making a nursing sound when they glimpse the cover of Maxim. Other boys get distracted by a makeover show on the Style Network. This actually means nothing in terms of how these lads will end up later in life - but it exposes some innate interests.

When my daughter participated, for the first time, in a Girl Scout cookie drive, they had a special meeting to show off prizes that could be won by top sellers. The prizes included colorful strings of butterfly lights and pens that squirted out a sparkly plastic poo. But the mack daddy prize was a beaded curtain for hanging in the doorway to a bedroom. This prize must have been scientifically designed by advanced Girl Scouts to elicit a deep psychic response. The room full of seven-year-old girls leaned forward and sighed, all at once.

We sold boatloads of cookies that year. It was like the crack-selling montage from 'New Jack City' - except with Thin Mints. The GSA promotes self-esteem, fitness, and civic-mindedness, worthy goals for any gender. But when it comes to motivating the rank-and-file, they damn well know what works.