Goin' to the Chapel

Thank you to well-wishers who have responded to the news of my engagement. Some have asked about wedding plans. This is the second time for both Rachel and I, so we're weighing various options.

1. Nuptial attendees will ride through town in a wagon train pulled by oxen, followed by an army of banjo-pickers and harmonica players. Rites will be given on a bandstand by a wise old cowboy with a handlebar mustache.
   
   
2. Bride and groom will recite vows while being lowered slowly into twin silver cauldrons filled with warm chocolate. Tibetan monks will chant softly nearby. Mirrored balls and bubble machines will add ambience.
   
   
3. Bridal party will be carried aloft on gilded platforms through the misty moors of Finland, and the marriage performed by a centuries-old warlock near his mountainside cave.
   
   
4. Rachel and I will don mechanized body armor, and fight a duel to the death using chainsaws with spinning blades, all the while reciting Spenserian sonnets to each other in robotic voices.
   
   
5. An intimate ceremony with close family.

Quite a tough pick, as you can see. More news as it breaks.