Deer Insolence

Something is amiss with deer populations and suburban neighborhoods. I feel very strongly that we are the dominant species and the deer should prance off into a wooded glade and nibble flowers. Or else there will be consequences.

Once again, a deer stepped casually into the path of traffic on a well-traveled road in my neighborhood, and I had to swerve to avoid it. The deer paused for a moment to gaze at me indifferently.

I could have been bouncing down the street in a rainbow-colored ice cream truck with sirens all over it, and he would not have moved out of the way any faster. I had to hold myself back from leaping out of my car and whacking him with an umbrella.