Babies and Forgetfulness

For the past several weeks our local media has been consumed with stories about babies forgotten in automobiles. The frenzy began when a local assistant principal, Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby, changed her routine on the way to work at the beginning of the school year and left her infant daughter inside her vehicle during a sweltering late-summer day. The child died.

Now the stories are constant. First there has been a great fuss about whether or not Nesselroad-Slaby should be prosecuted (she wasn't), and another great fuss about whether she should lose her job (she was placed on leave). Meanwhile the media interviewed all of the witnesses, reconstructed the timeline, and obtained video of the mother's discussion with police.

And it's the endless subject of daily office patter and conversation. Person A suggests that Nesselroad-Slaby should be publicly executed, person B suggests that you can see how such accidents happen with tired, over-extended parents - and the two perspectives aren't mutually exclusive. Such a situation is inexcusable, but every adult has had the experience of almost falling asleep while driving, for example. You would never permit that to occur, especially with kids in the car. But you are especially vigilant because you can see how easily it could happen.

Now two more stories - the first one about Epifano Lopez, a Kentucky father who left his daughter in the car in 90-degree weather while he bought groceries - and the other, an unnamed woman, who likewise forgot her baby on a trip to the supermarket. Both babies in these cases were unhurt, thank God.

In the second case, prosecutors haven't yet decided if they will file charges. In the case of Mr. Lopez, there's one telling detail - he admitted he left the child in the car intentionally while he embarked upon a short shopping trip. The moms apparently spaced out. During his stay in jail he may wish he had lied and claimed he forgot and broke down weeping and screaming for the benefit of the police and the people gathered in the parking lot.

The law, I suppose, provides for "intent" - despite the fact that it seems like either all of these parents or none of them should be prosecuted. And to be honest, my preference would be some kind of punishment, since forgetfulness is the same as neglect when it comes to children - as anyone with a grabby, curious and exploration-minded toddler knows.

Now, like it or not, we have reached the point where roving gangs of people are wandering parking lots peering into backseats, looking for occupied car seats. And I'm sure there are many parents like myself - I handle the morning dropoff with our 10-month-old, and I'd sooner have my arm hacked off with a rusty saw than forget her - but I find myself possessed with an even greater degree of parental paranoia (with which I was afflicted even before these news stories) every time I climb into and out of the family sedan, regardless of whether or not shorty had ever been in the car.

Fact is, our baby is a helluva lot of fun in a grocery store anyway. She giggles, we fly down the aisles checking out stuff, daddy makes foolish faces and sounds. There's different schools of thought, I suppose - but I think, if you're going to have a baby, bring it along, and convert everything into teachable interactive time. No child left behind, so to speak.

Updated: In the original version of this post I had given an incorrect name for the woman in the most recent case.