Advanced Barbeque Techno-anthropolgy

The history of the human race can be linked to military technology. And barbeque.

In the first case it's been well-documented by historians. The longbow at Agincourt, Hiroshma and Ngasaki, the machine guns and trenches of World War I - these have been the pivot-points in history for civilizations and empires. And they each rely on some game-changing technology that provides the greater capacity to efficiently dispatch rival factions of humanity. Even today some youngsters in Pakistan are patiently preparing their devotional suicide bombing while a Predator drone streaking quietly through the sky draws them cleanly into focus.

On the less grim side of the equation, researchers at Harvard have put forward a theory that barbeque played a key role in human evolution. According to an article in Technology Review:

Cooking makes both plants and meat softer and easier to chew, providing more calories with less effort. What's more, human teeth got smaller and duller at around this time, which is the opposite of what would have happened if people had had to rip and chew lots of raw meat.

Reducing the time and energy required to chew and digest raw meat means more energy available for other uses--such as feeding a voracious brain that's getting bigger and bigger.

The article further suggests that the obesity epidemic is a continuation of the same trend. Food is even easier to eat these days - you look for the arrows on the concrete and the "Drive Thru" sign, select pretty much anything, and give five dollars to the lady. The most calories you will expend will be in folding back the paper wrapper.

But barbeque is something different - it resonates with the more primative part of the brain. This summer I've availed myself of the opportunity on many occassions, firing up the grill like an "old stone savage-armed" in the words of the poet - and lining up various meats and vegetables, which emerge from the smoke and flames a short while later to find their place at table. It's immensely satisfying to know that in addition to providing a culinary tour-de-force I am also helping the brains of my family evolve. (Which perhaps may not be necessary, given the advanced sarcasm of some of the folks who sit around our table.)

And in the spirit of barbeque technology - advancing the artform for the benefit of mankind - I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the efforts of Nathan Moore, a local engineer who works by day at P&G, presumably solving the mysteries of defect-free Pringles production. His inventive mind has brought to the world a barbeque smoker that produces the succelent joys of slow-cooked protein nirvana - without the need for contstant tending.

You see, unlike conventional smokers, which require fuel to be added continuously over the course of many hours, Moore's has a gravity-fed system that allows for wood chips to gradually replenish themselves, freeing the chef to play golf, drink beer, play Madden 07, or if necessary, interact with other family members.

In light of what we now know about history, this may be an anthropological milestone. Kudos to you, Mr. Moore.