In Praise of Darrell "Viper" Issa

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is going to run out of pita chips and spinach dip with all of the American lawmakers that have been dropping by the state compound. All it takes is a recommendation from the Iraq Study Group and soon enough you're playing Martha Stewart to every congressional delegation from here to Poughkeepsie. It must be the dictator equivalent of getting five stars in the Michelin Guide.

Well, at least he won't have to worry about guests from the State Department.

The latest Congressperson to ring the sitcom doorbell in Damascus is Lebanese-born Darrell Issa, Republican (cough) member of the House Committee on Intelligence. Issa's wikipedia biography suggests that as a one-time bomb disposal technician he may be uniquely qualified to "defuse" tensions in the region (sorry, sorry). But not only that:

Issa made his fortune through his company, Directed Electronics Incorporated, that is most famous for its flagship product, the "Viper" car alarm. It bears one notable siren which is a recording of Issa's voice, "Warning, you are too close, this vehicle protected by Viper."

No playing around with this guy. Stand back, Bashar.

Notwithstanding his career as a capable American businessman, something tells me that Issa won't become the fodder for talk radio scorn that was reserved for Speaker Pelosi. Just today Dick Cheney was on the airwaves saying something about about how we shouldn't "reward" the Syrians by talking to them - a concept that, I'll admit, has me baffled. Merely talking is a reward, Mr. Vice President? No disrespect to your famous Montana stoicism, but heck, there's many things a fella can say while a-talking.

He might say, for instance:

• Stop screwing around with Lebanon, al-Assad.
• We have plenty of evidence of how you and your crackpot Iranian pals channel funds to Hezbollah.
• Look at this picture of our cool new spy drone. Badass, eh?

Smart-aleck remarks aside, it's a tricky problem from a Constitutional perspective - which branch has authority to speak on behalf of the United States. One things for certain - we are more powerful when Congresspeople, Presidents and Secretaties of State all speak with one voice when it comes to our most serious interests. That's the way it should be in a time of war. But channels of communication, especially with external parties, become very confused in any organization when leadership is ineffective.

And that's the real problem that's been troubling me about the Bush Administration: Diplomacy and a willingness to forcefully engage both domestic and are international opponents are not worthwhile goals because they feel warm, fuzzy and inclusive. They are worthwhile goals because you need as many people on the bus to get the job done - to be effective. Being hard-headed, blaming everyone else, and locking out diplomacy just hasn't served us well.

Tags: Darrell Issa, Nancy Pelosi, Syria, Diplomacy