Traveler Sloganeer

While availing myself of this nation’s proud airline industry in lounges and planes today I passed time inventing some potential improvements on Las Vegas’ famous promotional catchphrase “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” (As noted previously I am on my way to CES.) This list may grow over the next few days:

1. What happens in Vegas shows up at your door in 18 years and asks for help with art school tuition.
2. What happens in Vegas clears up with prescription medicine.
3. What happens in Vegas wears shiny black stiletto heels and has an Adam’s apple.
4. What happens in Vegas was supposed to be the down payment for a house.
5. What happens in Vegas keeps getting brought up during arguments and used as an example of why it's going to be hard to re-establish trust.

And observations about airline security are pretty trite, but as someone who flies only a few times a year I’ve noticed they’re doing a slightly better job. There were quite a few lanes open at Greater Cincinnati this morning, and one of the stout, mannish TSA agents even mustered a “good morning”. But it's still impossible to correctly juggle boarding passes, luggage, and photo ID in the correct order for the bewildering gauntlet of checkpoints and twisting, roped-off lanes. When you stand back and watch it’s like a complicated line dance invented by awkward white people – except with that faint whiff of futility and intrusiveness.

More updates as time permits. I am in Vegas now and it’s slightly overwhelming. I could write several posts simply about overheard conversations.