Hillaryzilla

"No, really. Don't be fooled. Bush is a simian frat boy, warmonger, and idiot. He's a puppet in the sway of greed-obsessed businessmen. All of that talk about principles, patriotism, and compassion is a smokescreen."

This is, of course, is a standard attack on the current president. To the majority of the American public it has sounded like teeth-gnashing and sour grapes. Democrats, however, should take some comfort in knowing that soon we will witness the Republican party making the following claim, loudly, and also with limited appeal:

"No really. Don't be fooled. Hillary is a socialist, opportunist, and harpy. She's a puppet in the sway of trial attorneys and government-crazy ACLU'ers. All of that conciliatory centrist talk is a smokescreen."

The implication will be that, when nobody is looking, Hillary Clinton peels back her mask of flesh, revealing the lizard beneath. Then she unhinges her jaw, and swallows bunnies whole - kinda like those aliens from the old "V" television series.

And any truthful observer may notice that Hillary never quite takes a definitive position on any issue. She will never be wrong, after the fact, because she never quite solidly stood up for anything beforehand. She's covered if the war succeeds or fails. Same with the economy. Triangulation means never having to say I'm sorry, no matter what the outcome.

But at this point I think she'll take the prize in 2008. The leadership of the Republican party has shown a stalwart tendency to force a choice between unforgiving, rock-ribbed conservatism or "spineless" attempts at agreement. The dichotomy is bogus, and unappealing, and Hillary has all of the skills necessary to subvert it. She will also make the inevitable awkward white Republican candidate (who will be chosen over a moderate) look mean and uncharitable in comparison to her eminently reasonable positioning.